Things this working mom needs RIGHT NOW

So most of you know that I have to be at work from 8h30 - 16h30 with a half hour lunch break.

I have 2 little kids who phone me and  ask for things like "patterned ribbon" at 11h00 in the morning when I am work (not expensive; not that difficult to find if you know your way around the haberdashery dept. as I do, but impossible to produce on a work day if I don't have any).  And if I go buy 10 types on the way home today so that "I'm organized" for tomorrow, that won't help because tomorrow they will want polly pocket koala bears at 11am.

Similarly I have the problem with finding time for shopping, or "maintenance"

And there are a million other things I need to do which I can't do because I am at work.

So this is my wish list, tailored to my circumstances:

1. Travelling oral hygienist who brings an i-pod and foot massager while my teeth get sorted in my lunch hour.

2. Hair salon at work that I breeze into (a la Oprah) which would enable me not to do my hair prior to work (make up as well - too much to ask?)

3. Travelling botox technician who charges R25 a shot (I have never had Botox so maybe I don't understand why its worth it yet), but I do have lines.

4. Shake on (like talcum power) cover the grey hair powder - in complex shades such as Betty Draper season 2 blonde.

5. My own dress maker (again at work) who I visit on my lunch break and whose room has hundereds of samples and materials and who understands my code: e.g. (again) Betty Draper season 2 decending the stairs to the ball room blue and the same puff of the skirt. Oh, she knows my sizes so I never have to be measured.

6. A cook who is affordable, cooks healthy food and gets my children to eat healthily (bwahahaha) and could she/he also brag to those people who criticize this aspect of my parenting

7. Again a travelling plastic surgeon guy to do a boob lift, tummy suck, lipo on legs and nose job all in a lunch hour.

8. A speech writer/ briefer to make me sound clever n' cultured e.g. :" I'm re-connecting with the inner city movement at the moment in preparation for the art biennale" ; " I think that Sarah Palin's use of the term blood libel attempted to draw a parallel between her situation and that of Jews victimized by anti-semites, when it is the Arizona victims who should be central to the discussion".

9. A PAUSE button that I press when I come home from work to my hungry stomache, shrieking kids and a husband who wants me to look at maths calculations; science articles; architetect plans etc etc. I get in the bath and relax until I am ready to unpause.

10. A person who co-ordinates me having divine teas with me friends at my home on a regular basis and reminds me of what I really want to be doing with my time.

Anyone up for doing any of this?

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