Fable Fairy
30.9.10
Fable Fairy down with flu but back soon
Hi all. Fable Fairy has horrible flu. But will be back with news and treats and a bang next week x
27.9.10
Drama For Life
I caught the wonderful actor Peter Hayes FOR FREE at the Little Theatre a few weeks ago performing IAM HERE. It was part of the Wits organized theatre festival to promote an appropriate reponse to HIV and AIDS. I don't know when you last saw a piece in this genre, but I was really surprised by complexity
the whole suite of shows captured.
Peter's story is human and moving and brave and good. He had finally arrived at a really good place in his life where he wanted to adopt a baby. And in our wonderful country even a gay single dad can adopt a baby.
To get his "house in order" so to speak he goes for an HIV test - his 3rd. The last 2 were HIV negative. He's like most people. Most of the time he's practiced safe sex, but there one slip up. Turns out he's HIV positive. What follows is his grappling with all that that means -Does he still date? If he does, when does he tell the other person he's HIV positive? What about people who don't tell? When he tells, will he still be loved?
This was so relevant for ALL South Africans gay or straight.
Another show I saw was the Bonfire group. 4 actors and "ringmaster/facilitator" acted out scenes from the audiences members' lives where they experienced transformation - a young gay black man coming out to his parents; a University peer educator teaching people about HIV in memory and honor of her aunt who died from AIDS and another story so sadly South African:
A young lady from Durban had just finished matric. Her and her pals went to the beachfront for a party at night, but didn't tell her mom. They were ambushed, had sand stuffed in their mouths and had their phones stolen. She realized her mom maybe knew what’s best for her before something serious happened.
It wasn't her fault. She should be able to go out anywhere any time. But in this crazy country she learnt such a hard lesson. And there were other awesome shows- Clowns without borders and Pj Sabbaga's "Deep".
Next time this city gets the privilege of these shows, go see them.
the whole suite of shows captured.
Peter's story is human and moving and brave and good. He had finally arrived at a really good place in his life where he wanted to adopt a baby. And in our wonderful country even a gay single dad can adopt a baby.
To get his "house in order" so to speak he goes for an HIV test - his 3rd. The last 2 were HIV negative. He's like most people. Most of the time he's practiced safe sex, but there one slip up. Turns out he's HIV positive. What follows is his grappling with all that that means -Does he still date? If he does, when does he tell the other person he's HIV positive? What about people who don't tell? When he tells, will he still be loved?
This was so relevant for ALL South Africans gay or straight.
Another show I saw was the Bonfire group. 4 actors and "ringmaster/facilitator" acted out scenes from the audiences members' lives where they experienced transformation - a young gay black man coming out to his parents; a University peer educator teaching people about HIV in memory and honor of her aunt who died from AIDS and another story so sadly South African:
A young lady from Durban had just finished matric. Her and her pals went to the beachfront for a party at night, but didn't tell her mom. They were ambushed, had sand stuffed in their mouths and had their phones stolen. She realized her mom maybe knew what’s best for her before something serious happened.
It wasn't her fault. She should be able to go out anywhere any time. But in this crazy country she learnt such a hard lesson. And there were other awesome shows- Clowns without borders and Pj Sabbaga's "Deep".
Next time this city gets the privilege of these shows, go see them.
And the winner is:
I visited the fantastic Vintage Street again.
Modelling a Fable Fairy brooch, a Vintage street dress and shoes from the shop, Daisy drew out of the fedora, the winner of the giveaway...
I reached for it
Congratulations Farm Girl Heidi! It's YOU! You've got some awesome energy at the mo winning on Glossary and Fablefairy! Please mail me your addy.
I hope those cows are ready for Gaultier.
If you didn't win don't be sad. There'se more where that came from x
23.9.10
Heritage Post Gratitude
To all the bloggers who took us down memory lane - Thanks a million. I LOVED it. 
Can you feel the week-end coming on?
22.9.10
Heritage Day Blogpost: Farm Girl
Check out this exciting first post of the group posts for Heritage Day from Farm Girl!
It is SO exciting It's like getting a treasury of stories, a "Girls Own annual" I feel like I am opening the first story and its fantatsic and there's more to come!
http://plaasjapie-farmgirl.blogspot.com/ Who Am I?
It is SO exciting It's like getting a treasury of stories, a "Girls Own annual" I feel like I am opening the first story and its fantatsic and there's more to come!
http://plaasjapie-farmgirl.blogspot.com/ Who Am I?
Heritage Day Post. Favourite Childhood toy
In honour of Heritage day the Fabulous blogger gals (Fable and the Fantastics? Angie and the Awsome-ettes? Glossary and the Gourgeous.. You get the idea) Are doing a GROUP POST about our favourite childhood toy or outfit!
I have a printer's tray dedicated to the theme of favourite childhood toys which include mine, my moms, my grans and my little girls (see the fifi and the flowertot figurines) and these are interspersed with other friends who are visiting them.
My favourite toys in the late 70s/early 80s were babarpapas.
From Wikipedia: "Barbarpapa is both the title character, and name of the "species" of said character, of a series of children's books written in the 1970s by Annette Tison and Talus Taylor, who resided in Paris, ...Barbarpapa himself is a generally pear-shaped, pink shapeshifting blob-like creature who stumbles upon the human world and tries to fit in. The shapeshifting is usually accompanied by the saying "Clickety Click—Barba Trick. After various amusing adventures, he comes across a female of his species (more shapely, and black-coloured), named Barbarmama. They produce seven children, known as the Barbababies, each a different colour inckuding Barbarbelle, purple, female, lover of beauty and Barbarbravo (Barbidur), red, male, lover of strength and heroism[3]
God bless my parents I had the entire family. So so sadly I only have 2 left: Babarbelle (that gourgeous lavender one on top of the printers tray)
and Babarbravo (her orange friend on the other side).
Funnily enough I miss Babbarmama the most.
The worst part is I gave them away myself because I thought I was a big girl and too old for them. I took them up the road in a box and said goodbye! Oh give me the power to timetravel and get them back. Baaabaaaparpaaaaas come back to me.
Happy Heritage Day people. Check out the other blog posts TOMORROW on this theme on the other following great blogs:
Fable Fairy: http://fablefairy.blogspot.com/
Glossary: http://glossaryzine.blogspot.com/
Bobbylicious http://www.bobbylicious.co.za/
Gorilla is my friend http://gorillamefriend.blogspot.com/
Kiss This Twice /http://kissthistwice.blogspot.com/
Lucky Pony http://www.superduper/lucky
Embracing Style http://www.embracingstyle.co.za/
Cookie Jar http://cookiejarramblings.blogspot.com/
Farm Girl http://plaasjapie-farmgirl.blogspot.com/
Love them all
20.9.10
Do you want the Perfect Fedora
On Sat I went on a very brief, but focused (I had half an hour) search of the perfect summer Fedora hat in Long street.
This was inspired by 2 things 1). I went with the doc to a gansters and geishas party a few weeks ago and borrowed a fedora and loved it
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Pictures not by me from http://www.weheartit.com/
This was inspired by 2 things 1). I went with the doc to a gansters and geishas party a few weeks ago and borrowed a fedora and loved it
.jpg)
and 2). At a recent market MOTH sellers looked cool under the sun in their fedoras.
Ska in Long street have a big selection. Unsurprisingly the guys' fedoras are way cooler than the girls floppy sunhats.
I found my baby at A-list. Take note: There are 2 A-list shops. A-list in Loop street is like a young clubby look book. A-list in Long street is more casual. And has hats. I added my ribbon.
Pictures not by me from http://www.weheartit.com/
17.9.10
The awesome women behind surrogacy
On Wednesday I attended the most astonishingly inspirational talk.
Caryn (*name has been changed) fell pregnant and had a baby at 27. 1 hour after her baby girl was born, the doctors told her she had a very rare condition - fatty liver disease of pregnancy. She was rushed to Groote Schuur Hospital where within the day she was told in order to try and survive she needed to be put to sleep (ventilated) to stabilize her in the face of multi-organ failure (she later learned that she was intubated and ventilated for 2 weeks). When she came out of hospital a month later, she didn't remember that past 7 months of her life. She had to learn to walk again. She blew up like the Oros man, and then she lost weight. As a life-saving measure, due to uncontrolled bleeding, the doctors did a hysterectomy. She lost her uterus, but not her ovaries.
As she began to bond with her little baby daughter she found herself overwhelmed by sadness that she could not have another child. She saw a doctor who explained her only chance was to find a surrogate. In those days no-one knew how you find a surrogate. She advertised in the video shop. She tried to place an advert in the Argus. They refused. Die Burger agreed.
She ended up meeting a surrogate and Caryn's eggs and her husband’s sperm were placed in the surrogate and a baby was born.
The really interesting thing about surrogacy is most people think it’s a disaster of an idea because the surrogate won’t give up the child. But the truth is different. Israeli Anthropologist Elly Temen writes:
" The vast majority of surrogate mothers do not bond with the babies that they relinquish to the infertile couples that hire them. In fact, in numbers now difficult to ignore, an estimated 25,000women [ in America] have given birth through surrogacy in its contemporary form as a legal, commercial process since the late 1970s. It is estimated that over 99% of these women willingly relinquished the child as they had contractually agreed to do. Less than one-tenth of 1% of surrogacy cases end up in court battles (Keen, 2007). Furthermore, the majority of surrogates have reported high satisfaction with the process and report no psychological problems as a result of relinquishment....Most surrogates report that relinquishment of the baby is a happy event and that they would do surrogacy again ....Longitudinal studies show that these attitudes remain stable over time....
These figures, however, are not common knowledge, since most people are not personally acquainted with surrogates or families created through surrogacy. Without other sources, the public turns to stereotypes that pervade television, film and popular journalism.2 The popular narrative of the surrogate who regrets her decision and tries to reclaim the child to fill this void has little foundation" [Reference list available at ScienceDirect. Social Science & Medicine journal homepage: www.elsevier.com/locate/socscimed].
Tertia Albertyn and Kim Lazarus then spoke about their company Nurture which assists infertiles, single and gay couples with egg and sperm donation and finding and managing surrogacy partnerships. http://www.nurture.co.za/.
Tertia went through assisted reproduction 9 times and Kim 17 times. I went through these with my husband. Cyclist Lance Armstrong watched his first wife go through it and sais he'd rather do the tour de France its so hard. ie Not for Sissies. But it can be done.
Fertility specialist Dr. Sascha Edelstein answered medical questions clarifying that women are born with a finite number of eggs that are constantly being depleted – but that the uterus can have a longer "life span". I suppose that he re-iterated what we all instinctively know, our biological clock is ticking…
Sometimes we don't like interventions like surrogacy or egg donation because they challenge our social constructions of what is "a mother" and "a family". We want babies to only come into the world one way because that is what we are used to. So many religious texts written so many years ago before we had these technologies are used (by people not skilled in interpretation) to justify not engaging in these medical miracles. And yet it is often the people who don't have a problem falling pregnant with their own child or have never struggled to have children who like to comment they would not engage in assisted reproduction. Lucky them – they didn't have to face that choice. Every woman going through the expensive invasive rollercoaster that is assisted reproduction would have chosen for things to work out in an easier way. But they didn't.
Tertia's website http://www.tertia.org/ and her book book, So Close, about her story to become pregnant through IVF should be mandatory reading for anyone who knows anyone going through infertility.
She knows I LOVE this quote:
“And lastly, the book is my final ‘fuck you’ to the shit I went through. Fuck you fate, I never accepted your initial plan for me. You tried your best to beat me down, but you never did, you came close, but I stood up every time and carried on fighting. It was so hard, there were so many times when I wanted to give up, there were so many people who said things like “maybe it is not meant to be’, ‘maybe God doesn’t want you to be a mother”. There were so many, many occasions of inordinate bad luck, of terrible misfortune. There were so many occasions where I came so close to rolling over and dying. But I didn’t. And this book is my release note, my parole letter, my graduation certificate.
It was damn hard, it nearly killed me, but I made it. And I am so proud of myself for doing so".
Read more: http://www.tertia.org/so_close/2006/07/the_book.html#more#ixzz0zjeTBf8P
Under Creative Commons License: Attribution
Caryn (*name has been changed) fell pregnant and had a baby at 27. 1 hour after her baby girl was born, the doctors told her she had a very rare condition - fatty liver disease of pregnancy. She was rushed to Groote Schuur Hospital where within the day she was told in order to try and survive she needed to be put to sleep (ventilated) to stabilize her in the face of multi-organ failure (she later learned that she was intubated and ventilated for 2 weeks). When she came out of hospital a month later, she didn't remember that past 7 months of her life. She had to learn to walk again. She blew up like the Oros man, and then she lost weight. As a life-saving measure, due to uncontrolled bleeding, the doctors did a hysterectomy. She lost her uterus, but not her ovaries.
As she began to bond with her little baby daughter she found herself overwhelmed by sadness that she could not have another child. She saw a doctor who explained her only chance was to find a surrogate. In those days no-one knew how you find a surrogate. She advertised in the video shop. She tried to place an advert in the Argus. They refused. Die Burger agreed.
She ended up meeting a surrogate and Caryn's eggs and her husband’s sperm were placed in the surrogate and a baby was born.
The really interesting thing about surrogacy is most people think it’s a disaster of an idea because the surrogate won’t give up the child. But the truth is different. Israeli Anthropologist Elly Temen writes:
" The vast majority of surrogate mothers do not bond with the babies that they relinquish to the infertile couples that hire them. In fact, in numbers now difficult to ignore, an estimated 25,000women [ in America] have given birth through surrogacy in its contemporary form as a legal, commercial process since the late 1970s. It is estimated that over 99% of these women willingly relinquished the child as they had contractually agreed to do. Less than one-tenth of 1% of surrogacy cases end up in court battles (Keen, 2007). Furthermore, the majority of surrogates have reported high satisfaction with the process and report no psychological problems as a result of relinquishment....Most surrogates report that relinquishment of the baby is a happy event and that they would do surrogacy again ....Longitudinal studies show that these attitudes remain stable over time....
These figures, however, are not common knowledge, since most people are not personally acquainted with surrogates or families created through surrogacy. Without other sources, the public turns to stereotypes that pervade television, film and popular journalism.2 The popular narrative of the surrogate who regrets her decision and tries to reclaim the child to fill this void has little foundation" [Reference list available at ScienceDirect. Social Science & Medicine journal homepage: www.elsevier.com/locate/socscimed].
Tertia Albertyn and Kim Lazarus then spoke about their company Nurture which assists infertiles, single and gay couples with egg and sperm donation and finding and managing surrogacy partnerships. http://www.nurture.co.za/.
Tertia went through assisted reproduction 9 times and Kim 17 times. I went through these with my husband. Cyclist Lance Armstrong watched his first wife go through it and sais he'd rather do the tour de France its so hard. ie Not for Sissies. But it can be done.
Fertility specialist Dr. Sascha Edelstein answered medical questions clarifying that women are born with a finite number of eggs that are constantly being depleted – but that the uterus can have a longer "life span". I suppose that he re-iterated what we all instinctively know, our biological clock is ticking…
Sometimes we don't like interventions like surrogacy or egg donation because they challenge our social constructions of what is "a mother" and "a family". We want babies to only come into the world one way because that is what we are used to. So many religious texts written so many years ago before we had these technologies are used (by people not skilled in interpretation) to justify not engaging in these medical miracles. And yet it is often the people who don't have a problem falling pregnant with their own child or have never struggled to have children who like to comment they would not engage in assisted reproduction. Lucky them – they didn't have to face that choice. Every woman going through the expensive invasive rollercoaster that is assisted reproduction would have chosen for things to work out in an easier way. But they didn't.
Tertia's website http://www.tertia.org/ and her book book, So Close, about her story to become pregnant through IVF should be mandatory reading for anyone who knows anyone going through infertility.
She knows I LOVE this quote:
“And lastly, the book is my final ‘fuck you’ to the shit I went through. Fuck you fate, I never accepted your initial plan for me. You tried your best to beat me down, but you never did, you came close, but I stood up every time and carried on fighting. It was so hard, there were so many times when I wanted to give up, there were so many people who said things like “maybe it is not meant to be’, ‘maybe God doesn’t want you to be a mother”. There were so many, many occasions of inordinate bad luck, of terrible misfortune. There were so many occasions where I came so close to rolling over and dying. But I didn’t. And this book is my release note, my parole letter, my graduation certificate.
It was damn hard, it nearly killed me, but I made it. And I am so proud of myself for doing so".
Read more: http://www.tertia.org/so_close/2006/07/the_book.html#more#ixzz0zjeTBf8P
Under Creative Commons License: Attribution
16.9.10
From My Grandmother's Jewellery Box
Todays there is a guest post from the lovely Bobby from Bobby's Blah blog which is anything but blah http://bobbys-blah-blog.blogspot.com/
Inside my jewellery box live many beautiful things that I inherited from my grandmother. They, sadly, pretty much sum up my entire collection of vintage jewellery.
I adore all the gorgeous things I have of hers. They are classics and have such huge sentimental value. My grandmother loved her jewellery. I remember having so much fun playing with her things when I was a little girl. It's a grand feeling to have some of the things I played with back then. Pictured below are a few of my favourite pieces.
The first are these earrings. I love the deep blue colour.
Then there is this stunning pearl pendant.
I also love this plastic, blue and white necklace.
This is my grandmother's engagement ring.
My grandfather passed away fairly recently and my mom was kind enough to let me keep this ring. I am too scared to wear it in case I lose it (it is a little loose on my finger). The blue stone makes it quite unusual. It's beautiful.
My absolute favourite piece is this silhouette necklace. It's stunning.
This pocketwatch is my grandfather's. I plan to buy a chain for it and wear it as a necklace.
I hope you enjoyed this glimpse into my vintage jewellry collection!
Thank you FableFairy for having me over.
Bobby x
Wow your gran seems like one amazing woman, Bobby. You can tell a lot about a woman from the jewellery comapy she keeps. How very very special the collection now lives near your Jane Austin collection.I'm going to try make a necklace like your blue and white one from my grandfathers 1930s poker chips.
14.9.10
Gay women, IVF, job sharing.
I have a number of women friends who are gay, many of whom wanted to have a baby and chose to go through artificial insemination (AI) and some of them IVF (in vitro fertilization) to fall pregnant. In many cases, It was painful and heartbreaking and expensive, but some cases it all came together and in some awesome cases, they did it twice and have 2 beautiful children.
One of my friends who went through this experience is really struggling with being at work when she is desperate to be with her toddler and baby. It was not easy getting to where she is in her company (her work) and they will only give her 4 months maternity leave. She is struggling with such a difficult choice because both these things - on the one hand her job (and her professional identity) and on the other hand the ability to carry and have her own children were so difficult to achieve and it feels so difficult to give either one of them up. They will not let her be flexible/ part time/ job share.
She understands she is extremely lucky that she can even contemplate giving up her job because her partner can support her if they make some drastic changes ie really cut costs. It’s also a difficult field to “start your own company”.
I watched her go through the ivf which was in some cases poorly understood by several people around her. Heterosexual couples who require reproductive interventions also sometimes have to deal with people not understanding their desire to go through the physical and emotional and financial challenges to have their OWN child and yet although it is not necessarily easier for them, there is sometimes some sympathy for the presence of some pathology that requires the couple to have to have an intervention to enable carrying a child and this choice is sometimes more understood. Gay women who want to carry their own children are not necessarily infertile. It is sometimes perceived that they are going through the intervention “out of choice” because being gay is sometimes mistakenly perceived as “a choice” as opposed to being who you are. As if gay women (more so that hetrosexual couples struggling to conceive) somehow must rather adopt. Though heterosexual infertiles do get their fair share of “maybe you should stop trying” or “it’s god’s choice for you” let it be. Not that adoption is not a wonderful choice. And I have great friends who’ve made this choice.
Simply put, my friend should not have had to go through the discrimination she has faced as a gay person, as someone who chose to go through AI and IVF and as a working mother. Why on earth in a country with such high unemployment can’t we have job sharing? She’s had to fight so hard for so many things and now another fight to raise her own children. Heterosexual women face this impossible choice too. As infertiles or gay women in fact as women in general, this just feels like way too many battles.
One of my friends who went through this experience is really struggling with being at work when she is desperate to be with her toddler and baby. It was not easy getting to where she is in her company (her work) and they will only give her 4 months maternity leave. She is struggling with such a difficult choice because both these things - on the one hand her job (and her professional identity) and on the other hand the ability to carry and have her own children were so difficult to achieve and it feels so difficult to give either one of them up. They will not let her be flexible/ part time/ job share.
She understands she is extremely lucky that she can even contemplate giving up her job because her partner can support her if they make some drastic changes ie really cut costs. It’s also a difficult field to “start your own company”.
I watched her go through the ivf which was in some cases poorly understood by several people around her. Heterosexual couples who require reproductive interventions also sometimes have to deal with people not understanding their desire to go through the physical and emotional and financial challenges to have their OWN child and yet although it is not necessarily easier for them, there is sometimes some sympathy for the presence of some pathology that requires the couple to have to have an intervention to enable carrying a child and this choice is sometimes more understood. Gay women who want to carry their own children are not necessarily infertile. It is sometimes perceived that they are going through the intervention “out of choice” because being gay is sometimes mistakenly perceived as “a choice” as opposed to being who you are. As if gay women (more so that hetrosexual couples struggling to conceive) somehow must rather adopt. Though heterosexual infertiles do get their fair share of “maybe you should stop trying” or “it’s god’s choice for you” let it be. Not that adoption is not a wonderful choice. And I have great friends who’ve made this choice.
Simply put, my friend should not have had to go through the discrimination she has faced as a gay person, as someone who chose to go through AI and IVF and as a working mother. Why on earth in a country with such high unemployment can’t we have job sharing? She’s had to fight so hard for so many things and now another fight to raise her own children. Heterosexual women face this impossible choice too. As infertiles or gay women in fact as women in general, this just feels like way too many battles.
13.9.10
Fable Fairy for Sale
Head bands, hat bands
Alice bands
Clip/ Fascinator
Brooches:
Bracelets:
Rings:
Necklaces:
Pictures from the you, me and everyone we love market
Fable Fairy lace cuff bought "off the seller" by lovely Maya
Look at this lovely lady trying on Fable Fairy while her friend looks at the vintage dresses:
The awesome Anthea from http://www.embracingstyle.co.za/. She is such a great photographer/designer. See her photos of the market. What did I tell you? Can this girl rock a floral look or what? And her shoes from the neighbourhod goods market last week looked perfect. She took a lovely picture of my goodies for sale.
The cool crowd:
Just another gourgeous day in Cape Town's centre city bowl - the place I am lucky enough to call home.
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